Last Christmas
by Yue Guang Kuroneko
Summary: Last Christmas Kaoru told Hikaru that he loved him—but what happened afterwards? And now, a year later, it is Christmas again, and Kaoru is home for the holidays. Will something change between them? Or will it stay dead as it was last Christmas?


**Title:** _Last Christmas_  
**Written by:** Yue Guang Kuroneko  
**Pairing:** HikaruxKaoru  
**Rating:** PG-13 due to bits of twincest  
**Written for:** A request and Christmas! And a Christmas fanfic contest on FRoP  
**Dedicated to:** Chii-dono I love you, Chii-dono! Merry Christmas!  
**Warning:** OOCness, suckage, and twincest.  
**Summary:** Last Christmas, Kaoru told Hikaru that he loved him—but what happened afterwards? And now, a year later, it is Christmas again, and Kaoru is home for the holidays; will something change between them? Or will it stay dead as it was last Christmas? Oneshot: HikaruxKaoru

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Ouran or any of its characters. They belong only to the great Bisco Hatori-sama (and BONES)...so I wonder if they could give Ouran to me for the holidays xD And I do not own this song either. This song is "Last Christmas" by Wham! and being Kuron, I have jacked it for my personal use

**Last Christmas**  
By, Yue Guang Kuroneko

--

_Last Christmas, I gave you my heart,  
But the very next day, you gave it away.  
This year, to save me from tears,  
I'll give it to someone special._

Hitachiin Kaoru gazed out of the tinted bulletproof window at the beautifully decorated mansion, with sprinkles of snow that dot his vision with blurry white. Feeling the urge to feel the stinging Japan breeze against his face, he rolled down the window and was greeted with the mid-winter zephyr.

"It's good to be home, isn't it, Kaoru-sama?" His driver asked him pleasantly as they turned the corner.

"Yes," Kaoru said quietly. "It is."

--

"Welcome home, Kaoru!" His mother greeted him with a large smile and a peck on the cheek. "How have you been?"

Kaoru smiled up at the older woman, taking in her never-aging face and then moving his gaze towards the servants who were decorating the magnificent hallway with holly and wreaths and mistletoe.

It was the twenty-third of December—and it seemed that his mother had procrastinated in decorating the house for the holidays.

"I'm fine, okaa-san," He answered. "How are you and father?"

"Busy," She sighed, pulling away from him, looking wholeheartedly disappointed. "Not to mention that some princess from some foreign country wanted _me_ instead of Hikaru to design an outfit for her at the last minute—I could only manage to decorate the outside of the mansion before rushing around in getting that design done and now that I've finished, I have to get ready for the party! And you would think that your father would have time to be home when his beloved son returns from America—but he is busy with his company too!"

Kaoru gave a laugh, not at all feeling offended that his father was not there to welcome him home—he had already called to welcome him and to apologize for being unable to greet him in person.

It's been a year since he's returned home for Christmas, and it felt as if nothing has changed.

"Kaoru!"

But they have.

"Hikaru," Kaoru smiled up at his twin, who was waving at him from the top of the holly-clad stairs.

"How is America?" Hikaru asked as he hurried down the stairs. "How are you? Are you back for good?"

Kaoru only beamed at his older brother, forcing himself to stay standing where he was, waiting for Hikaru to fling his warm arms around him. Usually, he would have met Hikaru halfway up those marble stairs with a large smile and tears brimming out of his eyes—but then again, should things have been the same, he wouldn't have gone to America for a year.

"It took you a while," Kaoru teased him as Hikaru flung himself at him, resulting in both of them falling onto the polished floor. "How are you?"

As Hikaru listed off the important events that happened throughout the year as they walked up those stairs, Kaoru couldn't trust himself to speak. Hikaru was trying so hard to pretend that nothing happened a year ago and he was afraid that he would say something that made them even more awkward. He didn't want any uncomfortable emotions between himself and Hikaru—it would only break him further apart.

"Remember our room?" Hikaru asked with slight nostalgic as they turned the corner into a hallway—their hallway. "I left it alone when I took over okaa-san's company."

"You didn't need to," Kaoru stated as he brushed his bangs from his eyes, walking past the door without giving it a second glance.

Hikaru was silent and Kaoru turned to find that he had stopped walking.

"You feel far away, Kaoru."

_Once bitten and twice shy,  
I keep my distance,  
But you still catch my eye.  
Tell me, baby,  
Do you recognize me?  
Well, it's been a year,  
It doesn't surprise me._

Kaoru stopped, clenching his fists tightly for a moment before raising his eyes to meet Hikaru's sober amber gaze.

"You're being stupid," He gave him a smile, loosening his fists and stretching lazily. "I just had a long flight and the food was awful."

He took a step towards Hikaru and placed a quick hand on his shoulder.

"That reminds me, Hikaru," Kaoru spoke, pulling away quickly as they continued to walk along the length of the hallway. "How is Haruhi?"

Hikaru shrugged and muttered, "Tono won't share her with anyone else."

"She's still single, isn't she?" Kaoru urged on, ignoring the nagging voice in his head that was screaming at him to _shut up_.

"Yeah," Hikaru ran a hand through his grown locks of hair. "She's still not interested in men—but that doesn't mean tono won't stop trying."

Kaoru gave a polite laugh as they continued to stroll around the mansion, exchanging stories that had happened during the year that he was missing from Japan.

He had left for America almost immediately after their Christmas dinner, stating that he wished to pursue a career on his own with no other reasons. He held no interest in fashion, but rather, enjoyed writing and translating for an American publishing company. His life in America was simple—it was nothing close to extravagant and there were times he wished he was back at home with his brother…and the maids.

"Welcome home, Kaoru-sama," A group of servants, who were cleaning one part of the mansion as they passed by, greeted him happily, blushing and squealing as he nodded a greeting.

"Doesn't Kaoru-sama look even more handsome after going to the States?" One of the girls whispered loudly as she continued to wash the windows.

"He does!" Another one squealed with a feather duster.

"Ano…excuse me, Kaoru-sama…"

Kaoru glanced down at a heavily blushing maid, holding a pail of clean water.

"Yes, Riiko-san?" He smiled at her amiably.

"I—It _is_ Kaoru-sama!" Her brown eyes widened with glee. "I can tell Kaoru-sama apart from Hikaru-sama!"

Panic rose in his chest and immediately, his eyes snapped over to Hikaru. At first he thought Hikaru looked emotionless but after a calculating moment, an indescribable darkness was seeping through his façade.

"Hikaru?" He reached out to his tense brother cautiously.

Just as his fingers brushed against Hikaru's arm, the elder tore away from him and ran down the hall, accidentally knocking over pails of water and a few ladders. Kaoru followed him closely, apologizing to the maids quickly, before following Hikaru's footsteps.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru called out as he neared the running twin in front of him. "_Hikaru_!"

"Kaoru, darling, is something the matter?"

Kaoru stopped and turned to find his mother standing there worriedly behind him. He only gave her a smile and replied quietly, "We're fine, mother."

She shot him a look that clearly said: _I am your mother—you think you can _lie_ to me?_

However, she let out a sigh and said briskly, "Well then! Our party guests should be arriving soon—do go and dress nicely."

"Yes, mother," Kaoru waved at her as he headed for the room that had been prepared for him. "I will meet you in the ballroom later."

--

Kaoru stood to the side, holding a glass of light champagne as he watched family after family stifle Hikaru to the brink of death.

_I wrapped it up and sent it  
With a note saying 'I love you'  
I meant it.  
Now I know what a fool I've been  
But if you kissed me now,  
I know you'd fool me again._

He sighed as he recalled last Christmas where families only greeted them politely and did not bring up the subject of marriage. They were so falsely polite that it was to the point where it was sickening but he had been fine with it because he was with Hikaru.

Kaoru paused as he remembered Hikaru's wide eyes and the words that left his lips in puffs of white.

"Kao-chan!"

Kaoru turned towards the well-known high-pitched voice and was met with an unfamiliar face, but a memorable guardian.

"Hunny…senpai…?"

"Hai!" The now-tall blond smiled at him brightly. "How are you?"

_Talk about a late growth spurt_, Kaoru thought as he observed the once-cute and cake-loving senior.

"Look, Takashi! CAKE!"

Kaoru sweatdropped as Hunny bounded towards the dessert table, eyes gleaming excitedly.

"Kaoru! Welcome back!"

His eyes widened as they landed on a petite brunette with long hair and wearing one of Hikaru's designer dresses.

"Haruhi," He felt a smile tug at his lips. Opening his arms, he enveloped Haruhi warmly. "Thank you. Did Hikaru invite you?"

"Actually," Haruhi said as a figure headed their way. "Kyouya-senpai told me about it and asked for me to accompany him and Tamaki-senpai."

"You kept in contact with everyone?" Kaoru raised his eyebrow.

"Yes," Haruhi said, looking a bit irritated. "Tamaki-senpai tries to have everyone meet up once in a while."

Kaoru had to laugh at her tone of voice. She looked like a perfect aristocrat with her hair done elegantly, wearing a beautiful dress that accented her skin and eyes perfectly, but she was still a blunt commoner on the inside. He never realized just how much he missed her until this moment.

"HA-RU-HI!" The approaching figure flung himself at her but Haruhi was saved by another figure pulling the flying Frenchman back by the collar. "KYOUYA! HOW DARE YOU SEPARATE A FATHER AND HIS ADORABLE DAUGHTER?"

"Don't be an idiot, Tamaki—you're going to ruin Haruhi's dress." The ever-intimidating older man pushed his thin-rimmed spectacles up his nose gracefully.

Tamaki gasped and backed away quickly.

"I WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING!"

_A crowded room  
Friends with tired eyes.  
I'm hiding from you  
And your soul of ice.  
My god, I thought you were  
Someone to rely on. Me?  
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on._

Kaoru glanced in Hikaru's direction and was mildly surprised when their eyes met. His brother's eyes were a beautiful gold while his was a dull yellow. There were so many differences between them that it was no wonder the maids could tell the difference. He had changed while he was in America and they could no longer go back to those days anymore.

"Kaoru-sama? You have a call from the company."

Kaoru turned his attention to the butler and nodded before glancing back at Hikaru to find that he, too, had reverted his attention back to something else. He sighed and stared after Hikaru longingly before turning his attention back to the butler.

"Thank you," He swallowed the lump in his throat and held the phone to his ear. "Yes?"

"Kaoru," spoke the deep-voiced man in English. "We need you to return straight away."

"Return?" Kaoru questioned. "I only just arrived."

"Yes, we are aware of that but we ran into a few problems with the script and the release date is soon."

"I understand," Kaoru sighed, sticking his free hand into his pocket as he glanced out of the window to watch the snow fall. "At least allow me stay in Japan tonight and tomorrow morning. I will return by nightfall."

"We apologize for the disturbance, Kaoru," The man sighed.

"It's fine, Michael," Kaoru smiled. "Is Jenny there?"

"Ah, yes," Michael sounded as if he was ruffling through some papers. "Give me a moment and I'll fetch her."

"Thank you,"

_A face of a lover with a fire in his heart  
A man undercover but you tore me apart  
Now I've found a real love  
You'll never fool me again._

"Kaoru?" A girly voice spoke in slightly accented Japanese.

"Jenny," He smiled as he moved away from the party toward a dark, quiet corner of the ballroom. "It seems like I'm going to be home for Christmas."

"Yes," Jenny sounded thrilled. "It's unexpected."

Kaoru gave a small laugh at the giddiness in her voice.

"What do you want to eat when you come home?" She asked.

He could envision her twirling the telephone cord around her finger and said with a light smile, "Anything you make will be fine, Jenny."

Jenny laughed and said, "All right. I'll decide. I'll leave you to the remaining time left with your family."

He smiled into the phone and said softly, "I love you, Jenny."

There was a pause of silence before Jenny replied affectionately, "I love you too, Kaoru."

They hung up and Kaoru clutched the phone tightly in his fist, his heart strings tightening like an overstretched rubber band.

He met Jenny a year ago when he first arrived in America. She had escorted him around the publishing building, explaining carefully his role and the utter importance of dedication and the deadlines. She spoke to him in fluent Japanese (although slightly accented) and when he asked her of it, she smiled and stated that she was a mix between an American man and a Japanese woman.

After first, he held no interest in her—after all, he was a sensitive man and leaving Japan with a broken heart was something that would take him a long time to get over—but after a while, they became close friends and now were dating regularly to the point where they moved in with each other.

"Kaoru!"

He snapped out of his thoughts and smiled weakly at the owner of the voice.

"Yes, Hikaru?"

"You have a girlfriend?!"

Kaoru observed the panting Hikaru before answering quietly, "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hikaru placed an arm around his shoulders. Kaoru gazed up at Hikaru's beaming face. "You should have brought her! I'm sure okaa-san would have loved to meet her!"

Kaoru felt something pull at his stomach at Hikaru's words. Wasn't Hikaru disappointed at all? Didn't the fact make him feel sad, even just a little?

He stopped walking, gazing down at the polished marble that he was standing on. For once, he actually felt lonely. Sure, he had been heartbroken and left for America, but never once did he feel so alone. He had been rejected by Hikaru before…so why did Hikaru's acceptance leave him feeling even more upset than before?

"You don't care, Hikaru?" Kaoru said quietly, feeling his nails dig into the palms of his hands. "That I have somebody else?"

Hikaru was silent and Kaoru took that silence as the one reply he didn't want to hear.

"Well, of course not," Kaoru laughed bitterly, not daring to raise his eyes. "You have absolutely no reason to care, right?"

"Kaoru," Hikaru spoke, but Kaoru didn't hear him.

He felt anguish. Remorse. Blinding rage. He was furious with himself—how could he have hoped that Hikaru cared? Why did he continue to hope that Hikaru still held him somewhere _special_ in his heart even after that awful good-bye?

"Excuse me," Kaoru excused himself from Hikaru's company and ran blindly out of the room.

His stomach was churning uncomfortably and his chest felt as if it was on fire. He needed to get away—he needed fresh air. Where? Where was it? Where was the damn door?!

"KAORU!"

Kaoru felt his arm nearly tear out of his shoulder as a hand grasped it tightly, the blasted laws of basic physics keeping him from running anymore. He gazed up and realized that he was shedding tears he promised himself that he would never shed again.

"Kaoru," Hikaru murmured softly, surprised at the tears that ran down his cheeks.

"Let go, Hikaru," Kaoru was shaking. He promised himself that he would never break down in front of Hikaru and now look at him. He was pathetic and weak and such a person doesn't even deserve to hope to be loved by Hikaru.

"Kaoru," Hikaru repeated, his amber eyes gazing warmly into his own dull ocher ones.

"What?" Kaoru spat out impatiently. He was feeling sick to his stomach.

"I love you,"

And suddenly, his world stopped. His mind went blank and all he could hear were the words that he dreamt of hearing from the slightly taller man in front of him. Kaoru wasn't quite sure how it happened, but when he felt warm lips pressed against his, his knees buckled. Hikaru's quick reflexes caught him and pulled him into a tight embrace as if he was a fleeting memory.

Kaoru quickly pulled away before being drawn into Hikaru's being.

"W-w-what the hell was that for?!" He exclaimed, placing a hand to his lips. "You shouldn't do or say things you don't mean, Hikaru!"

"Who says I didn't mean them?" Hikaru asked, looking slightly hurt and guilty.

"Those weren't the words you said to me when I confessed to you last year!" Kaoru was in an abyss of self-loathing. He didn't want to say these words—he wanted to tell Hikaru just how glad he was that he finally returned his feelings. He wanted to tell Hikaru to hold him and never let go. But his mouth wasn't listening to him. "Is this some kind of a sick joke, Hikaru?"

"No," Hikaru said, taking a step towards him. "I didn't realize it until you left."

He took a step back, trying to resist the urge to fall under Hikaru's spell.

"Right," He gave a small, tired laugh. "And I'm your Japanese Harry Potter. I can make you fall in love with me after I leave the country."

"Stop denying me, Kaoru." Hikaru started to sound angry and irritated. "Do you think you're the only one who suffered this year?"

Kaoru was silent—the truth was that he really had thought he was the only one suffering. He never realized how difficult it must have been for Hikaru to take over the family business by himself when they had originally planned to tackle the project together. Of course, now that they lead separate and somewhat happy lives, they couldn't possibly be together anymore.

"Thank you, Hikaru," Kaoru said, letting down his defenses slightly, leaning against the wall behind him. "But I'm afraid that I can't—,"

His sentence was cut off as Hikaru lunged for him desperately, as if trying to prevent those words from escaping his lips. He was knocked to the floor painfully, Hikaru's entire weight pressing down on him. After a few painful moments, he managed to disconnect their lips as he hollered, "Hikaru! That hurts!"

"Don't leave me," Hikaru murmured into the crook of his neck. "Don't leave me again, Kaoru."

Kaoru felt his eyes water as he held his dear brother to his chest, savoring the warmth that the body offered him. He wanted to stay this way with Hikaru from now on—but he'd have to change his life again. Was he capable of doing that?

"I have to leave tomorrow morning, Hikaru." He said thoughtfully as he gazed up at the ceiling, idly playing with Hikaru's hair.

"You can't leave me!" Hikaru clutched at him tightly. "I love you, Kaoru! Doesn't that mean anything to you!?"

Kaoru gave a light chuckle as he said, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning to settle matters with the publishing company. After the matters are all taken care of, I'll come back, you know."

"But you'll be gone for Christmas,"

Kaoru could imagine a small pout resting on Hikaru's lips and smiled, "That's okay. I owe Jenny at least one Christmas before I leave her."

"Yeah," Hikaru murmured to himself, sounding relieved. "Yeah…hey, Kaoru?"

"Mm?" Kaoru was beginning to feel sleepy.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Hikaru."

--

"All right, I'll see you all in a few months," Kaoru said as he pulled his scarf tighter around his neck. "I'll return when everything at the company is settled."

"Say hello to Jenny for me," His mother said.

"I will," Kaoru bent down slightly to place a kiss at her cheek.

"Bye Kaoru," Hikaru looked slightly annoyed at the mention of Jenny.

"Bye Hikaru," Kaoru hugged him tightly. He whispered lightly, "Remember, this is the last Christmas we'll be apart."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

_This year, to save me from tears,  
I'll give it to someone special._

**OWARI**

**Author's Note:** Wow, this is one long story. The ending definitely didn't end up the way I wanted it to and I'm unsatisfied with it, but oh well. Too late now! -laughs- I was planning on making it bitter and sad and dramatic, but I'm a real sap for fluffy endings so I ended up giving Hikaru and Kaoru a happy ending! YAY! Haha And besides, it's almost Christmas and I figured that everyone would want to read angst but warm, fuzzy HikaxKao stories, so here you go! I hope you all enjoyed it!

-"Kaoru-sama" The suffix -sama is used as either "master" or "king" by servants, or those of lower lineage/positions in society  
- "Okaa-san" means "mother"- "tono" is translated roughly into "lord" or "milord" and that's what the twins call Tamaki  
-"Ano..." translates roughly into "umm..."  
- "Kao-chan!" The suffix -chan is used for those either younger than you, or someone you are affectionately close to.  
- "Hunny-senpai" The suffix -senpai is used for those higher than you. For example, an 8th grader would call an 11th grader "-senpai"  
- "Hai" means "yes"

Feedback is really appreciated. Constructive criticism is also appreciated. Mean flames are retaliated with my evil dust kitties and their water furballs...so don't try them. You'll regret it. Really.

Thank you for reading! And happy holidays!


End file.
